You maybe have never felt like you were falling apart. Maybe just me. Yea right! 😂
I know this....that there is no temptation that is not common to all of us according to my fave scripture as a teenager. Also 1 Cor 10:13 says that He will provide an escape for us out of every pickle we find ourselves in. Well, that may not be word for word.😜
You get the point....We all long for joy and would rather be at the beach or on a mountainside relaxing with someone we love or at a coffee shop laughing with friends than alone crying over some guy, unpaid bill, or whatever the issue of the day is!
So there are bad days. Then there are “fall apart” bad days. I had one of those kind not too terribly long ago. 🙃🤪
I’ld like to share a few things I learned from it. Why waste a worry?! At least I can give that pain a purpose in hopes of next time you or I go through tough stuff, we can do so more gracefully than I did on this occasion. The aha moment the Holy Spirit enlightened to me was this:
1- It is not responsible of me to worry!
When I feel like someone is going to write me off or reject me because of something I did (not realizing or meaning to that hurt them) my whole world goes into a tail spin. Why? Because we all want to be loved and we want to love. We are made for connection and when anything tampers with connections that mean everything to us, we hurt, we worry, we try to fix it, we get angry when it won’t seem to be fixed, we blame, we do all kinds of things trying to deal with whatever it is we are worried about. I realized recently that the #1 reason I do this is because I feel it is the responsible thing to do to become consumed with the situation feeling total responsibility to “fix it”. I feel irresponsible to go on my merry way if I know someone is upset with me or is thinking the worst of me or being distant with me or if I’m at risk of losing them over some stupid thing I probably did that may even deserve the “punishment” I’m receiving.
But here is the deal, we are all human. We will all say something off or offensive or do something untoughtful or take someone for granted or be unthankful at some point with someone. We will all bump up against someone’s pain that they had before you ever even brushed up against it with your issues. We will all also be misunderstood from time to time. The solution is not to worry over it. The solution is to discuss it, talk about it TO EACH OTHER not to someone else. The solution is to forgive yourself and expect those who truly love you to forgive you and move on. Or if the table is turned, forgive that person and expect them to own what they did and move on with humility and honor. This is actually not always hard! It can be quickly and relatively easily dealt with. And in my situation this is exactly what happened because that’s just simply how healthy relationships work. But in the mean time, I fell apart out of fear which brings me to the next point I learned...
2- Fear not!
Scripture gives that command more than any other command. Why? Because God knew that in 2018 the number one health concern would be STRESS! Stress and anxiety are tripping up so many and It can literally create terrible physical problems for those who yield to it for long enough. God reminded me of when I lived in India, I studied the fear of God for a solid year. He brought me back to that revelation of fearing (trusting and honoring) God and what He says and thinks about me over what anyone else says or thinks. When we fear God over people we trust that He has the ability and will to work things out for our good! If we really believed this we wouldn’t fall apart over ANYTHING! We would act like we actually believe that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD! But during my “fall apart” bad day, I was yielding to fear from past relationships where rejection was the outcome instead of trusting God. Also perfect love casts out fear and when we love and believe the best, there is no fear knowing that one way or another all will work out for my good!
3- Time trips me up.
When something isn’t seeming to change in the time frame I think it should, I sometimes begin to think, Hmmmm maybe this is my cue to make this all ok. That’s when I go into major “fix it mode” thinking maybe since I caused this (and sometimes it’s a joint effort...don’t always take the full blame! I’m bad about that.) It’s completely my responsibility to fix it especially after this much time has passed and the situation is still not resolved. (Mind you - “this much time” could be only an hour or a day. But when we are experiencing relational pain, that seems like years!) No matter how badly you want your situation to be whole or reconciled or fixed, sometimes patience is required. Faith and patience are so powerful when they are used together! So instead of worry, exercise your faith intentionally over your situation and instead of fear let patience have her perfect work in you trusting that it’s never too far gone, too late, too much time lapsed for it to all work out! Just be open to God that His perspective is so much clearer than ours and it most likely won’t work out exactly how we “saw” it but His ways are higher than ours and His thoughts are so much smarter than ours!
Next time we start to fall apart, let’s all commit to maybe come and re-read this blog and consider this wisdom from His Word!
Hope you had a Happy Monday! Mine was super busy but happy and just got to write this. Hope it helps someone like it did me! I’ld love for you to comment back on the website with insight you may have on the topic 😍