Have you ever said yes but really meant no?

  Have you ever said yes but really meant no?

According to Dr. Henry Cloud in his book Changes that Heal, "Whenever boundaries are crossed, when one person becomes responsible for another’s feelings and happiness, this person is unable to be free from the other person, and as a result, is unable to love them. Guilty compliance is never love; it is slavery."

So take an inventory of who's happiness you feel responsible for and choose today to stop owning their happy for them. Are you like me and need to learn that tiny little word that seems so hard to say sometimes? Let's practice it together. Say it out loud with me..."No." Yay, you!!

If I've heard one mom say it I've heard dozens talk over the years of how guilt has driven many of us in different areas of lives with our kids, friends, and families. From this moment on, see guilt as a slave master that you must break free of.  What we have to realize is that if there is someone applying guilt {many times it is self inflicted} do not respond to it from them or from yourself. Simply tell that voice in your head that you will no longer be a slave to it.

If there is someone in your life that holds you hostage for their happiness, free yourself. Someone else's happiness is not your responsibility. It's tough enough owning our own happy some days. Let those who continuously cross your boundaries know in a gracious, loving but firm way that they need to own their own happy. You just can't anymore.

I hope this helps someone like it did me. This book by Cloud is so good. I highly recommend it. Go free like a bird today knowing you are not responsible for anyone else's happiness and ironically watch how many more people you spread the happy to because of this revelation.

Happy Monday!