The short answer is to love ANYWAY!
Spoiler alert 🚨😂
The not-so-short answer is worth the read ............
Loving happy relationship ➡️Misunderstandings/Wrong-doing➡️Offense➡️Broken relationship = Devil wins👎Boo!!
Loving happy relationship➡️Misunderstandings/Wrong-doing➡️Forgiveness➡️Reconciliation = God wins 👍 Yay!!
Which one has a happy ending? Which one is God’s will? Which one takes more work on the front end? Which one takes less work on the back end? Which one brings peace and joy? Which one is God’s will?
Which scenario keeps us up at night? Which one is life giving? Which one produces a healthy culture? Which one does the Bible teach us to do?
**15“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.16But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.
You know why people would rather hate, complain, divide, and/or just leave your life? Because they don’t have the guts to do what the Bible says. Ouch! I know. But isn’t that true about anything we struggle with? Do the Word. Victory results! It’s really hard for some personalities to do what that scripture above says to do. I get that. But it doesn’t excuse anyone from doing it. It’s hard for my personality to do other parts of scripture but it doesn’t excuse me from it. Right?
Do you need to go to someone and clear up an offense? If you are like most of us, we have probably been on both sides of this before.
Just recently there were two situations with people I love dearly and we discussed the “wrong-doing” with humility on both sides. They were apologetic as was I and Lickety Split! Zero issue. Zero drama. Zero offense. Zero hard feelings. Abundance of love. Abundance of grace. Abundance of peace. Abundance of joy resulted!
Yet in other cases over the years - Same exact type of “hill to climb” relationally. Very different results. Bitterness. Hate. Gossip. Strife. Offense. Division. Pain. Broken relationships never to be mended.
I honestly just cannot understand how this happens other than in true abusive situations. And even then God is a miracle worker. I’ve seen even abusive relationships mended by the power of love and forgiveness. I’ve experienced it happen. But only by His grace and love.
I would venture to say names and faces are popping up for everyone who reads this blog because studies show we all have been in, are in, or soon will be in a messy relationship. We make this so much harder on ourselves than it has to be. I pray this helps.....
Here are a few reasons I have noticed relationships do not get resolved:
1- There is not complete and utter honesty under the misconception of “walking in love”. Problem is - God is Love and He says in His Word above to go and point out the fault you see in the right spirit in order to restore the relationship. Love said to do that!
2- We believe lies and become deceived yielding to what psychologists refer to as cognitive distortions. These build walls between us.
3- We refuse to think the best in people and think we know why they do what they do when we clearly do not. (That is a cognitive distortion actually but worth having it’s own point because it is so rampant.)
4- We don’t take the time in our busy lives to sit down and work it out with resolve to keep doing so no matter how many times it takes.
5- We seek to be understood rather than to understand.
6- We go to others and stir up strife and every evil work under the guise of “asking for prayer or even wisdom” from multiple people which then makes it virtually impossible to work through rather than doing what scripture says and GO TO THE OFFENDER.
7- We ultimately decide the relationship is not worth the work.
A few common denominators in relationships on the rocks that I’ve seen mended and enjoyed :
1- Humilty on both sides
2- Complete and utter honesty sprinkled with kindness
3- Awareness that your view could be wrong
4- Effort, attention, & priority to save the relationship
5- Bringing in a third party mentor when needed as scripture teaches
6- Thinking the best of the other person, giving grace and trusting or being willing to do the hard work of building trust back
7- Being able to both agree that forgiveness is in order, admitting and quitting the offense, agreeing to disagree as needed and sealing the situation with true complete forgiveness restoring each other as if it never happened
Please join us this Friday night at 7pm for the Happy Hour if you are in the Mobile, AL area to hear more about how to work out your own salvation regarding these types of situations as we dig into my next book love ANYWAY !!
I believe this Friday night we have a date with Destiny! Fun, freedom, and forgiveness will be experienced by all!
Join me in that glad confession for this Friday night! 🙏😍🙌
Harvest Church Family Venue 7-8 with an after party til 9
Some of the questions we will answer are:
What becomes your goal if reconciation is not possible?
What does forgiveness look like when it feels like you just can’t?
What steps can I take to begin to love ANYWAY in day to day life that will build me up to handle the big stuff better?
And more along this subject.....
***Register TODAY for the Happy Hour at happyanyway.org It’s FREE!! And we will be giving away tickets for two girlfriends for the Conference in August with special guest
Terri Savelle Foy!!!