This blog is dedicated to all moms everywhere, whether you have children, have pets who are like your children, or serve in some other nurturing role. This Mother’s Day, I want to invite you to remember to care for yourself as well.
I remember my first Mother’s Day without my mom. I decided that instead of crying all day, I would still genuinely miss her, but I would accept my husband’s invitation to share the platform with him at church to teach a lesson that had been in both our hearts to share. It is from this lesson that I would like to share some reminders with all the moms out there:
* Life balance comes when your values and your behavior match.
* Start doing more of what you love and less of what you hate.
* It's not that we do too many things. It's that we are doing the wrong things.
* Boundaries are about self respect.
* Are you doing things to be loved or to be loving?
* Start being where you want to be, not where you are expected to be. It's YOUR life. Not theirs!
*We all have the same 24 hrs in a day. We just need to prioritize differently.
* No is a complete sentence. You don't owe an explanation.
My mom taught me about self care from an early age. She embodied each of the things I spoke of that Sunday morning. There were dozens of times I asked my Mom to do things she didn't want to do. You know what? She loved me and I knew it, but she flat didn't do it if she didn't want to. She had a revelation that her life was her own although we still felt her love. Did I always like it? No! Did I sometimes think she was being selfish? Yep. Now, I see she wasn't. She was "doing her". I also thought of when we were kids and she would take us swimming. I remember her getting so frustrated with her friend who would hold us up from getting to the pool because she had to clean her house, according to Mom, far more than necessary. Mom left things undone to spend time with us, taking us swimming. It's what she wanted to do, and so we did it. She didn't make excuses for her house, her clothes, her schedule, her weight, or her hair. She didn't always like all of those things about herself (none of us do at all times, right?!), but she never apologized for them. She made choices and stood by them. You could like her choices (or not), and she would be fine with either. She was wise and humble, knowing all of her decisions were not always right. That's when she would simply say, "Oh well," and just be genuinely happy anyway.
Lord, help all of us live our values more like Mom did. Perhaps this is why you just couldn't rock her boat. Anxiety and stress come when there is a disconnect between your values and your behavior. Mom was not a stressed out, anxious person, and I think I just discovered why.
What do you say?! Join me in honoring our mothers by decreasing our stress and anxiety. Let’s do what we want a bit more often. Funny thing is, this is how she was so happy to sacrifice and be others-minded…she did what SHE decided to do and that left her margin to give and do for the ones she loved the most. Wow, I'm finally learning this, and I know she is leaning over the banisters of heaven cheering us all on!!
Happy Mother’s Day! Go ahead and do more of what you love! Be where you want to be and not always just where others want you to be. Let's live from our values and notice our happiness meters go up, up, up!!!